what to do if youre dating a racist
You have a new guy in your life that seems great at showtime, simply so he occasionally throws in some inappropriate comments virtually people of colour under the guise of being "funny" that don't sit the right way with yous. Joking about someone's race isn't a thing—he'due south actually a racist, especially if you notice these signs.
He makes racist jokes.
A perhaps not so subtle sign that the man you're dating is racist is that he makes racist jokes that he thinks are funny simply are really not. I'm not even going to try to replicate or make up the kind of crappy joke that he'd make because yous know what? Normal people who aren't racist just don't make racist jokes because they aren't funny at all. It's not a coincidental joke—it'due south racist. No ifs, ands, or buts.
He uses inappropriate slurs.
This is likewise not such a subtle sign of racism, only it'south important to talk about nonetheless. Your dude says inappropriate racial slurs that but brand him sound similar a total jack*ss. He thinks because an artist of color says the N-word in a song that he's given permission to employ the give-and-take in coincidental conversation despite how completely inappropriate it is. Facepalm… just, facepalm.
He starts a judgement with "I'm not racist, but…"
Okay, dude, anyone that says these words is automatically a racist. There'due south no fashion that anything intelligible always comes after this half of a sentence. In any other context, if you said that phrase, you'd likewise sound like a weirdo. How virtually "I'thousand not a pedophile, but…?" Creep! If he wasn't a racist, he wouldn't need to say anything at all.
He says crap similar "All lives matter."
Do we fifty-fifty accept to go into how stupid this is? I mean, in some parts of the U.Due south. and the world this may seem like a subtle sign of racism, only to me, it's a flashing neon sign. The Black Lives Matter motion is and then of import for a plethora of reasons but the overarching is considering of the god damn racism people of color withal have to bargain with on a regular basis. They bargain with things that I tin can't even begin to imagine.
He says he hates political definiteness.
Co-ordinate to Wikipedia, "The term political correctness is used to describe the avoidance of language or actions that are seen as excluding, marginalizing, or insulting groups of people who are seen equally disadvantaged or discriminated against, especially groups defined by sexual practice or race." And then, basically, he hates refraining from using language that may hurt someone when he could easily say something else. Anyone who "hates" this is only a jackass… and a racist.
He'south guilty of racial microaggressions.
Microaggressions are your classic form of subtle racism. According to Columbia professor, Derald Sue, racial microaggressions are "brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults toward people of color." He does crap like this. For example, he touches a black girl'southward pilus without asking and thinks it'due south OK. In reality, it'south embarrassing and wildly racist.
He says he doesn't see race.
This may seem like an okay thing at first, simply in truth, it'southward only completely ignoring racism. According to Stephen Colbert, when people say "'color blind' they don't actually mean that they can't see green or red; rather, they are suggesting that they can't ever be racist because they don't register skin color at all." This is just total BS. It's similar when someone calls themselves a humanist. Puke.
He perpetuates stereotypes.
When you're out to eat, he asks what your friend Elizabeth does for piece of work. When you say that she's an accountant, your racist friend rolls his eyes and says "classic" because she's Asian. He believes the stereotypes and repeats them regularly. Great.
He often ignores or discounts people of color.
This one is definitely more subtle than the rest. Information technology may be more subconscious but information technology's a form of racism nonetheless. He ignores people of color and favors white folks. For instance, he regularly stops to let a white person cantankerous the street just doesn't exercise the same for a Latinx person. This is likely subconscious racism, but information technology is even so.
He says crap similar, "But where are you lot actually from?"
This is wildly offensive and is i of the not so subtle ways that he'due south a racist. He asks a person of color where they're from, then when they say somewhere in the U.S. he asks, "But where are you really from?" This is ridiculously racist because information technology's assuming that anyone of color needs to be from outside of the country.
He mentions his one black friend.
In defense of his non-racism, he e'er mentions his one blackness friend. This is the classic go-to for people who are indeed racist and have no other defenses to say otherwise.
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Source: https://www.bolde.com/11-subtle-signs-hes-total-racist/
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